Scotchka! Half Scotch, half Vodka, this delicious (well, not really) new cocktail that's sweeping the nation -- or at least the Guerrero Street neighborhood of San Francisco. In a cut-glass tumbler, pour two fingers of any brown whiskey (brand your choice). On top of that our another two fingers of Sobieski Vodka. Two ice cubes. Use it to wash down the plain cheese pizza they ordered with none of the complicated toppings you ordered. Continue consuming until you're spontaneously complimenting your partner's legs and/or tying a necktie around your head. You can also sip it from a Spoon.
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